A Right Brain Mind in a Left Brain World Read online

  ‘Anyway they were to have a new priest join their parish and there was to be a welcome feast. Jane had decided to do a fish dish that she had learned from one of the French nuns here. She had asked the Mother for permission to go to the fish monger. They would normally have all their food stocks delivered but as there had been little time Mother agreed.

  Jane left the Convent that morning and by lunch time she hadn’t returned and by three o’clock the Mother was frantic with worry.

  Mother knew the O’Conner family well and cal ed them to see if Jane had arrived there or if they knew of her where a bout’s. But no one had heard from her, the Guardia from Street in Limerick where cal ed, but they felt she had probably run off. But Mother Majella insisted that Jane would not have run off. At six o’clock that evening the Sergeant of Henry Street Guardia Station, arrived to the Convent. They had found a young girl very badly beaten in a little alley off the dock road, her cloths where torn to shreds and her face was unrecognizable, the hospital didn’t know if she’d pull through.’

  At this point Jenny is beginning to feel like she might be sick, and removes her outer sweater.

  ‘Are you sure you want me to go on,’ Mother Maria asks Jenny.

  Jenny just nods her head and sips some warm tea; she knows she has to hear whatever Mother Maria knows.

  ‘The Sergeant took Mother Majella to the hospital at Dooradoyle. And in the mean time Mrs. O’Conner arrived too. It was Mother who identified Jane she was so badly beating her face was almost totally unrecognizable. The doctor who had admitted her arrived and told them that Jane had so many fractures to her body it was impossible to say how bad things were. But it was the damage to her head and brain that was the most serious, and he didn’t think she would survive or ever be the same girl she had been again.

  He was right, Jane came out of a coma two weeks later but the brain damage was very evident. She didn’t respond to anything and was totally unaware of everything that went on around her. It was three months later that it was realized that Jane was actually pregnant, the doctors couldn’t say for sure if the pregnancy would run its course or if the baby won’t have some sort of damage too. But at thirty six weeks they took Jane to theatre and gave her an epidural and delivered a very fine healthy baby girl. It had already been decided that the baby would be put up for adoption.’

  Jenny is sitting with tears flowing down her cheeks for everything her mother has gone through, she had been raped and almost beaten to death, and still somehow managed to have a healthy baby.

  Mother Maria took out a small leather pouch and handed it to Jenny and quietly left the room. Jenny’s hands shook as she opens the strings of the pouch and takes out the contents from inside. Jenny finds a very small white gold ring like a wedding band, and some pictures that could almost have been of Jenny herself. There were pictures of Jane with a man and a sheep dog, Jenny thought this must have been Jane’s father. Then there was a Holy Communion picture and some pictures with a family, Jenny realizes this must be the O’Conner’s. As Jenny looks at it more closely she realizes there is a nun in the picture and the more she looks, she is sure it is actually Mother Maria.

  Jenny sat for what seemed like an age before Mother Maria, came back into the room with an unsure smile.

  ‘Is this you?’ Jenny asks Mother Maria, as she hands over the picture Jenny is sure is the O’Conner family.

  ‘Yes Jenny that’s all my family with Jane just before she came here.’

  Mother Maria and Jenny talked some more about Jane’s life, the things she liked, what she liked to read and how her love of languages had made it easy to settle into life here.

  ‘I’m sorry to tell you this but your mother was always destined to be a nun it was her life. She was one of the few who had the calling, she had handed herself over to Christ, fully.

  ‘So where is my mother buried.’ Jenny asks.

  ‘Jenny your mother isn’t buried.’

  ‘Well I’m sorry Mother but I didn’t think the Catholic Church approved of cremation.’

  ‘No Jenny I’m sorry what I should have said is your Mother is not dead, I’m sorry if I had you believe that.’

  ‘Well where is she then, is she here Jenny asks getting excited.’

  ‘No Jenny she is not, she never returned here again after she went back to Ireland at eighteen.’

  ‘Please tell me where she is?’ Jenny almost cried,’ she’s not still at the hospital is she?’

  ‘Jane is being cared for by our Convent in Limerick, they moved her there after they discharged her from the Hospital.’

  ‘You mean to tell me, all this time my mother has been nothing but a few miles away from me.’ Jenny can feel the emotion building up, she is trying not to cry, but the tears come anyway.

  ‘Yes Jenny love, but you must realize that Jane was never going to be your Mother. She still to this day can’t hold any attention. I go over once a year to visit, I wish it were more, but this convent is my responsibility, but every time I go she has no idea who I am.’

  ‘Will I be allowed see her,’ Jenny asked quietly.

  ‘Yes, but I need you to understand now Jenny, she will never be able to leave the Convent that’s her home, I have already contacted Mother George about the situation. She will be more than happy for you to visit anytime if that’s what you decide to do. I would urge you to think about it. This could be very emotionally upsetting for you; I just want you to be prepared and not get any false hopes.

  Jenny leaves the Convent a few hours later not sure how she is feeling; she had planned to stay in France for the week. But all she wants to do now is get home, back to her parents.

  So as soon she can, Jenny logs on to the internet in Madam. Franks’ little office and checks the ferry times. There is one leaving Cherbourg at midnight. So Jenny packs her few things while Madam. Franks organizes a packed lunch. An hour later Jenny is driving through the beautiful town of Vire and heading for the motorway. All the while thinking over what Mother Maria has told her, to think she has spent four years at the University in Limerick and her mother has been there all the while.

  It takes Jenny another hour and a half to the ferry port, and an hour after that she boards. Jenny just makes for her cabin. She tries for hours to sleep; she just feels so restless, so she gets up and goes out on deck to have a walk and some fresh air, trying not to get too bogged down with all this new information, before heading back to bed.

  Jenny must have drifted off eventually, because she woke to hear the captain announce they would be disembarking within the hour...

  As Jenny arrives to their home off Kerry Head, she realizes her parents must have been watching out for her, because no sooner has she turned into the driveway when the front door opens and both her parents come running out. She has told them as much as she could on the phone last night, but right now she just feels over whelmed with emotion. Her mother makes her go straight to bed, when Jenny woke the next morning she could hear the rattle of cutlery coming up the stairs. Her Mother knocked and Jenny called to her now to come in.

  ‘Here you are love, a nice fry and the brown rolls you like, how are you feeling now?’

  ‘Not too bad, to be honest I don’t really know what I’m feeling, it’s just when I think of the life she has had compared to me I feel so guilty.’

  ‘Look Love beating yourself up over what happened to Jane isn’t going to help either you or her now is it? We have to be thankful that at least she is lucky enough to have had her family at the convent, whom I’m sure, have taken great care of her.’

  ‘I don’t think I could face it on my own, well not the first time anyway. Would you and dad come with me?’ Jenny asks her mother softly.

  ‘Of course Love we would be honoured if that’s what you want, she means just as much to us Jenny, because god love her without her we would never have been given you...’ Katie just hopes it won’t all be too much for Jenny, but at least if she and Ben are there with Jenny it might make it a litt
le less daunting.

  They arrive at the Convent of the F.C.J. Sisters off the South Circle, Road in Limerick at Eleven Thirty; the grounds of the convent there seem to be miles and miles of Lawn, with conifers dotted here and there to break it up.

  At reception the lady there asks, Jenny and her parents to take a seat and tells them Mother George will be with them in just a moment. It feels like they have just sat down when a Lady with a beautiful grey wool suit arrives into the room and walks directly to Jenny, she is holding her hand out to shake, Jenny’s

  ‘Hello Jenny I’m Mother George, but please just call me George everyone does. Why don’t you come with me and we will go up to our medical suites. Before we go in, I just want to explain a little about Jane, she will be delighted to have visitors, and when you chat to her, she sometimes likes to repeat what you say. But chances are she will have forgotten it all again five minutes after you have left its takes some getting used to.’

  They walk up the wide oak stairs in silence, Jenny can feel her palms begin to sweat, and she just hopes she doesn’t faint. Mother George has come to a stop outside a large open door.

  ‘Here we are, enjoy your morning and Leila, Jane’s assistant will bring you up some tea shortly.’

  Jenny and her Parents stand at the end of Jane’s bed; Jenny can see the resemblance is remarkable the same hair colouring, the same colour eyes.

  ‘Hello,’ Jane smiles up at them almost childlike, what’s your name?’ Jane asks, looking directly at Jenny. ‘Have you been here before?’

  For a moment Jenny thinks she might cry, she is finding it hard to talk she is so emotional. But she takes a few deep breaths.

  ‘No Jane I haven’t been here before, but we met a very long time ago my name is Jenny and from now on we will come and visit you very often. Is that Ok with you?’ Jenny asks Jane.

  ‘Are they your friends,’ Jane asks Jenny nodding at Katie and Ben, with a beaming smile.

  ‘Yes they are but they’d like to be your friend too if that’s ok.’

  ‘Oh Goodie,’ Jane shouts and claps her hands, ‘did you bring me something nice.’

  ‘Yes we did,’ Katie says as she steps forward and takes something from a little silk pouch and puts it around Jane’s neck.

  Jenny wonders when her mother had time to plan this little surprise, but she should have known her mother is always so thoughtful.

  ‘What is it?’ Jane asks looking at it a bit puzzled.

  ‘It is half a heart, and it has Jenny’s name on it so you will remember her next time, and Jenny will wear her half of the heart with your name on hers. So next time Jenny comes to visit you can put the two half’s of the heart together and it will become one. So it might be easier to remember you have met before.’

  ‘What an excellent idea.’ Jenny says as her dad put Jenny’s chain around her neck and gives her a quick hug.

  The rest of the day pass’s, as they chat and laugh with Jane, and her assistant Leila, you could see how happy and well cared for she is.

  As they drove home that evening Jenny sat thinking about everything that had happened in the space of just over a week. Today she has met the woman that gave birth to her, and as much as Jenny loves her. Jenny knows that in a way that is all she had been was the woman that had carried her for nine months. She was always destined to be the daughter of Katie and Ben Murphy from the minute she was conceived, Jenny is sure of that now. But she would always be eternally grateful to Jane for giving her such wonderful Parents.